Ffordianslip

I was blessed upon a return home last night at 530 am to the news story on the Times website that Eugene Terreblanche had been murdered by two ‘blix’. More on that later.

A bit more shocking news first. Soon we will have to pay for newspaper websites for the privilege of using them. If I were employed and earning to my heart’s content I would probably scoff at this, but alas, I am not. Instead I have to watch my pennies carefully, and to be honest, I cannot afford to pay the £1.50 a week (I was told) they would be charging. That’s gym money! I need to go to the gym every-so-often so that I can hold the high ground over ‘lesser people’ (i.e. People not swayed by what others may think).

When this happens, I will no doubt change my homepage to something different…maybe MSN. All this means is that I will get my news from a different source and keep my monies, I will just be much more informed of the ins and outs, and ins and outs, and (sex life reference) of Katie Price. I appreciate that newspapers are disappearing and going out of fashion (MSN tells me a lot about fashion, so I know). But surely the advertising could cover it? Would it not just be offset by the countless reruns of the Simpsons on Sky, and the swinging-voter Sun newspaper. I am sure Rupert Murdoch would not destroy an institution of the UK with such haste, apathy and … wait … he might. Maybe £1.50 isn’t too bad.

I would definitely miss out on such great written stories as that of Mr Terreblanche. He didn’t pay his workers, probably treated them like scum and incited hatred against himself with all the noxious poison he spewed. It is quite shocking how it happened, and I would wish this on almost no-one.

Having watched Invictus recently, a film that gently lead me to nostalgic ambivalent tears, I am reminded of what things can be like in Africa. How tragic the story has been for the poor black population, being exploited and abused by the rich whites; betrayed and slaughtered by their own people, and, the fact that one man in the whole continent had the courage and power to not just forgive his treatment, but then ask a whole country to do the same should fill anyone present in the cinema to well up with pride and wonderment. Thanks to this man, the younger generations of Southern Africa are growing up and not seeing black and white, invader and indigenous, but African and African.

People like Terreblanche are grasping at the past, dragging people back to prehistoric ways of thinking, brainwashing the youth who are in the position to change attitudes through their future. People like him have no place in Africa today. It is still young in terms of cultural and social acceptance; this should be nourished and not twisted by a small band of racists. God bless Nelson Mandela. He is Africa’s hero.

If you think my treatment of the ‘tragic’ event is cold and hostile, how would you respond if Nick Griffin was killed? For Terreblanche, last night was unpleasant. But, hey, TIA. There are different rules out there.

A personal favourite political news story sprung up recently as well as this (the death of a racist AND political stupidity?! I am spoilt!). Labour’s most recent poster was revealed to a grand reception, unveiled by the geekily grinning David Miliband “Don’t let him take us back to the 80s”. Not bad for people who are still aggrieved by the treatment of the miners (I keep writing ‘minors’, but they’re always treated badly), however, MSN tells me that is ‘old news’. The fact that many look back to the eighties will a glossy-eyed, good-ol-days stare could spell a rather bad reaction to the poster. They are preaching to the believers, not the heathens!

That is merely scraping the surface. The poster itself show a wiley-looking Gene Hunt posed casually on his Audi Quattro…but, wait for it…DavCam’s face is photoshopped onto it! Cool, huh? Such a brilliant idea (submitted by competition as Labour has no money…symbollically appropriate methinks!): use popular culture to illustrate the potential of the candidate, using a revered and admired figure who the people love and relate the candidate to him…such a brilliant idea: for the Tories!

They quickly jumped on board with this ingenius campaign changing the title to “Fire up the Quattro! It’s time for change.” Clever, for real this time. I would really have loved to be a fly on the wall in that meeting where this idea was discussed. It really is laughable. It’s come to a point where I feel sorry for Labour: their attempt at defaming the opposition was funded by the equivalent of a church service collection tin only had the effect of making him look even better. Saatchi and Saatchi need a ruddy good hiding. Get Gene Hunt on the case, he’ll sort them out.

Next Tory poster : “Labour could also do with some change, so they can afford a new poster!”

I am slightly annoyed by my inability to convey my point in my last blog sufficiently without consequently coming across as a racist. I will not do the regular “my best friend is [insert ethnic minority often the brunt of racial hatred], so I cannot be racist” though, I am SO pretentious it seems, I feel that is below me.

Think what you will as to my disposition towards different cultures, creeds or ethnicity; I will say that, despite what many people somehow gathered from my last post, I do not hate the British: I cannot say just how much I respect a population containing individuals who can look at themselves and tell others that they agree that their country is rubbish at (most) things, that their religion is a bit of a joke (Cake or Death?!) and best of all, that they themselves are “a git”. It is the confidence that comes with having ruled the entire world at some stage, but is now settling down to enjoy a cuppa’ tea next to the burning embers of a once great empire. I love it. I am a ‘British Citizen’, and despite things sometimes I find myself saying, and my loyalty and pride in my African heritage, I am proud of it.

Enough tail-between-the-legsing by me; something in Britain of late has bothered me. Admittedly I do not know much of the actual functioning of the law in a practical sense, despite studying it, yet I cannot help but agree with sentiments I found in the Daily Express today (I read it on the train, where I found it, please do not judge me…I AM an immigrant after all!). It pointed out the general outrage at the “mere” five years that the Edlington brothers had been sentenced to for their truly nightmarish attack on two children, and conversely, the life-sentence given to a mother “driven insane by grief”.

In the first case, the two boys had received this short sentence for something for which, some would argue, they should be burnt alive, resuscitated and rehabilitated, then burnt again. If adults had committed such offences, and appeared as remorseless as these two had in court, Parliament might have brought back hanging just for this occasion. Torture, grievous bodily harm and forcing two minors to partake in sexual activity (with each other), then being left to die. I cannot convey enough my own disgust at this crime, even after 22 years of desensitizing by the television!

Doubtless, because of the age of the offenders, their sentencing and even imprisonment will be lenient. But what of the victims? Does it make a difference to their suffering, at the time, or now through the psychological damage caused, that those who committed the crime were minors? Mother Theresa could have been the one doing it, it would not make it any less traumatic for the victims.

We are of course obliged to look to the offender’s parents. A violent, drug addicted/dealing father; a battered, uncaring, drug-addicted mother of seven. I hate to sound like a Guardian reader possessed by the ghost of Mary Whitehouse, but goodness me, what a pair they must be. They are to be charged for creating the environment for which the two demons could be borne. But should they bear the full brunt of the charges against the two boys? Should they be held vicariously liable for the crimes of their children?

Employers are held liable for the actions of their employees, and they do not nearly have the same influence or power over the nature of their subordinates as parents have with their children. I have read loads of comment on this news story on newspaper websites and many parents have written that they would take the responsibility, as their children reflect on them…but I suppose that these lot would never have to, being GOOD parents.

In the same week, a parent has been sentenced to life imprisonment for ‘murdering’ her son. Frances Inglis administered a lethal dose of heroin to her son, who was in a coma after a road accident with “no hope of recovery”. Her crime was committed out of compassion and love for her son; an attempt to free him from this “living hell”. I really cannot see the logic of the harsh decision of the very same courts that the doctors were going to apply to for the permission to withdraw his life support anyway!

I could not think of a worse punishment for Frances than having to see her son in such a state, and then to be the one that ends his life. It must have been torture for her. There is nothing worse than losing a child, except perhaps seeing them in a never ending pain, or permanent state of paralysis, unable to ‘live’.

So the torturers get minor sentences, and the one who administers a coup-de-grace to spare another the torture of slow starvation is punished for life. Cardinal Ximenez would be so, so proud.

I hope this event makes the government and courts look closer into the issue of assisted suicide; but with the Scottish MPs all expressing their reluctance to legalise it, we still seem far from resolution there.

Making a juttery return to punishment, the situation with the Edlington boys reminds me of this quote:

If he who breaks the law is not punished, he who obeys it is cheated. This, and this alone, is why lawbreakers ought to be punished: to authenticate as good, and to encourage as useful, law-abiding behavior. The aim of criminal law cannot be correction or deterrence; it can only be the maintenance of the legal order. – Thomas Szasz

The concepts of rehabilitation and deterrence are lost on me…like most people I believe that the term “justice” means that criminals get their just deserve; I do not want to see them made into ‘model’ citizens, taught to bluff their way through life with a mask covering their past. Maybe rehabilitation does work, I do not care. Punishment is what prison is for: you have forfeited your right to life by committing such crimes. My logic applies nicely for the Edlington brothers, and leaves me highly confused for the case of Frances Inglis. I need to do some serious contemplation on crime and punishment, as I watch the dumb British public subject themselves to another form of torture on Total Wipeout. …erm…yeah. Not racist. My mum’s British you know?!

It seems that the entire population of the United Kingdom can be likened to a cheeky child holding the thermometer up to the bedside lamp’s eco-bulb in a vain attempt to fool the parents into believing that they are ill enough to warrant a relaxing day in bed away from the strife of the world outside the bedroom.  But here there is no need for such extreme measures in the search for a reason to avoid work.  Snow day: schools cancelled.

I’m sure most people (who,unlike me, lived in a climate where such troublesome weather was possible) remember the days when they could look out the window only to worry about whether they will be pelted full-on on the old snoz.  There are no such excuses in Africa, indeed the only reason why we had a mass stay-at-home in Zimbabwe when I was at school was because of a mass stay-away organised by the opposition party, the MDC.  Unfortunately my father did not believe that this stay-away applied to doctors (fair enough) and their progeny (not so fair).  So me and my closest friend were the only two in our year at school (he was the son of the town clerk of Bulawayo…such demonstrations were a ‘no-no’ in his household).  So we spent most of the day watching films and playing quite violent games of football, where I almost got a red-card (and a thrashing!) for taking advantage of the size differences between me and the lower school.  Trivial matters.

Over the last couple of weeks here in “FROZEN BRITAIN!!!!”, there is no doubt that the roads have been treacherous and that those who are stupid (not brave, stupid) enough to take their vehicles out on the roads have paid for it in accidents and being stranded on the road-side.  In the Lake District I noticed that most of the people in 4X4s had them parked, and those with rear-wheel drive cars and hatch-backs were out tackling the ice…something to say about intelligence and money earning capability?  Another time perhaps, I know some really dumb rich people.  Despite these people out on the roads, the whole country seemed to shut down completely, shops not open, the schools closed and the airports at a stand-still.  It was such a relief to see that the schools had opened in time for exams; finally something good to say about the British education system!

As for the airports, some Americans on Sky news made excellent points:  they had taken off from Chicago where there was 20in of snow, yet couldn’t land at HEATHROW because there was 2 in of snow…such a major airport should not be so vulnerable to the weather!

For a first world state with the economic importance of the UK, I find it hard to believe just how willing people have been to sit at home with the excuse of the bad weather keeping them from their jobs.  I visited some local businesses for my groceries; they were open, it’s their livelihood.  Well the economy is the livelihood for most people in this country, and what effect will this standstill have on it?

“I cannot come in to work today because of the snow” is code for “I am far too lazy to walk”.  Yes it is tricky to walk outside, but what is life without these little challenges, making your day more difficult, making it interesting.  How often do you wish for something different today?   A change to the dullness of getting to work everyday?  If you live in a different city, are miles away and walking/public transport (heaven forbid using this!) is not an option, then fair enough, but most people use it as an excuse…this in itself sums up the work ethic of people in the United Kingdom.

This assertion is class-less, I am not saying that the working class are lazy, that the middle/upper class or unemployed are lazy.  The majority of people are.  When I first moved over here from Zimbabwe, my employers were so impressed by my work ethic.  They were shocked by my obedience, selflessness, and commitment to a business that paid me peanuts and cared nothing for me.  It was not about any of that, however, it was a matter of self-respect and pride in my work.  Somethings I appear to have lost the longer I have lived here.  You can still find this work ethic:  at my last job, my convictions were shared by the Polish, Lithuanian and Latvian employees.  We all worked so hard, while the English employees lounged about trying to avoid work at all costs.  There was one exception to this, ONE Englishman, so proud of his job, so hardworking, but he was mocked by his counterparts for it.

I overheard a joke the other night:  ”What to snowflakes and Poles have in common?  They both settle in their millions overnight and prevent thousands of British from going to work the next day”.  I find this hilarious, but in a different way than it is intended.  the word ‘prevent’ has never been more appropriate.  The immigrants have all the jobs that the British feel are below them, or lose their jobs to foreign workers because (here’s the real reason) the immigrants work so much harder than the locals.  We live in a capitalist society, it is survival of the fittest worker in this country, and the British people are a weak species in the working environment.

So I propose a change to this joke.

What do snowflakes and Poles have in common?  They settle overnight and give millions of British an excuse to stay at home.

I was taught at high school (not the most reliable source of information, considering that this was a British comprehensive, but I liked the teacher) that the reason that Stalin died locked in his room was because of fear.  Fear and paranoia.  Everyone was out to get him, trying to kill him; and it was this fear of being killed that killed him.  My limited knowledge of irony (so many people get upset when the term is misused) leads me to believe that there could not have been a more ironic death for this despotic leader.  Despite all the praise that ‘Uncle Vlad’ might have heaped upon him the other day in his question and answers broadcast live to the Russian people, who seem content to lap it all up and leap up his shins like obedient and over-zealous, misguided, puppies.

The state that Stalin was in at the end spelled the state of the whole of the USSR during the Cold War.  Everything was a threat, everything was an attempt to undermine the sovereignty of, overthrow or destroy the Communist leadership.  It is difficult for the USSR’s responsible successors Russia to deny that the leaders of the Soviet Union were up to something.  Because they were up to no good, they were very suspicious of everyone else.  Yes, the West was plotting against them, but the principle remains the same.  Those who are up to no good do not trust anyone else.  I know from experience, as I am sure you do…if you were doing something devious, you became extra-sensitive to the activities and potential plotting of others.

I only bring this up to question the motives of one of the most controversial nations on our planet right now.  North Korea, having pulled out of the Nuclear Non-Proliferation Treaty of 1968, obviously have no problem advertising themselves as the current ‘Bond Villain’.  They do not seem to care what they are stirring up.  It is not to them that I refer.  However, Iran I feel a little wary of.

According to my mum (another very reliable source) and an article I read in The Times a while back, the people of Iran love foreigners, Western or otherwise, they are kind and friendly people (so are many North Koreans I imagine) but they are reflected badly by their leadership who are, at the moment, acting very suspicious.  The capture of the British sailors of a racing yacht, en route to Dubai is the act of a suspicious nation.  They faced “serious punishment” if they were to found to have had “evil intentions”.  If the government of Iran believe that five sailors have evil intentions, what do they have, developing nuclear facilities (ten new ones in the making, I believe)?

The threat of five British sailors to the Islamic Republic of Iran is questionable, unless President Ahmadinejad has been watching too many Sean Connery films.  The threat of an Iranian nuclear arsenal, which the government of Iran staunchly deny, is a more real threat to Israel.  Their parliament has basically told the UN and the West to bugger off, as they only seek to produce nuclear power.  If that is the case, why are they not more open about their research and activities?  Or am I misinformed and it is the USA, UK and UN that are the paranoid parties?

Perhaps their suspicion was hooked by the fact that the sailors were heading to Dubai, and no one in their right mind would want to go there now, unless they were ‘up to something’.

Having just read Rafael Nadal’s blog on The Times website1, it fills me with a feelings of reverence, admiration and relief. It appears that people are still willing to accept responsibility for things they have done, and in the case of ‘Rafa’, something that was not even his fault. Yes, he lost the match, it does not mean that it is his fault. In my eyes it is proof that he is a gentleman, a leader, or, as modern men’s current obsession would describe, an Alpha.

It seems that this is something that has slowly died out, and it is sad that this is the case. Personally, I get a strange rush assuming responsibility for something I have not done: being the first to admit fault gains you respect, and you are less likely to get into trouble for it (in a school/work environment that is!) as a result. You also get the admiration of those whose fault it is, who then feel they owe you, and are also less likely to commit the same offence as they do not want to get you into trouble, knowing you are likely to take the blame again. I believe it to be a tribal thing: by taking the bullet for the offender, you have accepted responsibility for them, you have accepted them within your circle, you are chief.

This should be common on the political scene; for those who are the face of their department, they should be the ones to resign when someone under their command has committed a critical error. This is the reason why you are in charge; the reason why you are being paid a significantly greater amount than the minions for whom you are responsible. And yet when an escaped convict ran free in the UK in the early 90s, Michael Howard, a thankfully EX- Conservative Party leader, named and shamed the civil servant in his flock “responsible” for the error. No, Mr. Howard, YOU are responsible. The honourable, and right, thing to do is resign.

Easy as it is to play the blame game, if you play it within your own team, distrust will thrive, and weak links will form in the chain. Point the finger at the competition, the opposition, yourself even, but never the man next to you; it is cowardly and he will spite you for it.

A recent episode of petty fingering of the blame was with Gordon Brown’s respectable attempt to console the mother of a fallen soldier. It is not his job to do this, the soldier died in the line of duty, he died a soldiers death. It was his chosen profession. And yet our current troubled PM did his best to make a grieving mother feel better. If failed dismally, as he spelt her surname (and therefore her dead son’s too). Media controversy springs up, and The Sun go to town criticising his unforgivable error… in the process spelling the name wrong too.

As much as I am disinclined to like Brown, he was ‘mortified’ to hear about his error, and phoned the Jacqui Janes to apologise. He did not fire his secretary for not checking his spelling, blame his school-teachers for their failing to instruct him properly on how to read etc. He took responsibility immediately and for that I respect him.

**Update!  I have just read that a top soldier and top officials in Germany have “been forced to resign” for a bungled airstrike that killed 142 Afghans.  Good that they resigned, it should have been a personal choice, but it is the right thing to do.**

If you make a mistake, accept responsibility, no matter who you are. It is an attribute of an adult human being, not a child who is afraid of consequences. These consequences make you stronger as a result. I still do not like Gordon Brown, but he is a better leader for his efforts to console a grieving mother, and for accepting responsibility for his mistake.  Leaders and everyone in general should take heed of Rafael Nadal’s example.  Assume responsibility even if it is not yours; it makes you a better person, a better leader and could make society on the whole, more giving and less insular than it has become.

Chris Rock, Dave Chappelle and Me.  I am very pleased at the only opportunity for me to ever put my name in the same sentence as those two comic leviathans.  The reason might be unexpected for people who were to just glance a look at me in the street; despite my half-Indian, African-reared heritage, I look like a typical geeky, rhythmless white boy who likes to listen and sing along to Jason Mraz and singer/songwriter/guitarists called “James”.  You are not wrong…I do, but I also love rap music, and like the two comedians given above, I will staunchly defend it.

My housemates are treated, every evening, to exuberant renditions of the best hip-hop and rap tunes as they blast out of my laptop, as I prepare my meals for that night.  It is a routine, a ritual that results in culinary excellence.  Like metal was a few years back, rap is my power music…it gives me a piece of mind as I cook, or as I prepare to go out and tap the talent at the local establishments.  But I am deeply upset by the bad rap that one of my favourite genres has got (I am never ashamed of my puns, so I beg no excuse).

Of course I am not deaf to the generic tripe that is being blared out these days, all sounding the same, all containing the same recycled lyrics, all boasting/all pimpin’ insecure rubbish that we are subject to these days.  50 Cent, Tinchy Stryder (UK) to name enough to annoy me.  We can do without this kind of noise pollution, but why do (white) people group all rap in the same swill-bucket as Curtis “Inda dole office soon” Jackson? How is this different from any other music genre in the music industry these days?  I would sooner be Derren Brown’s play-thing than hear another Take That song.

At its best, rap is poetry … to some this is obvious, and to others this is blasphemy, but it is true.  Read some of the lyrics to Nas, Talib Kweli, Tupac and Tribe Called Quest.

“We living in these times of love and cholera
Synonymous with the apocalypse, look up the clouds is ominous
We got maybe ten years left say meteorologists, s***
We still waitin for the Congress to acknowledge this!” – Talib Kweli’s Hostile Gospel Part 1

I read poetry.  I have seen it performed live.  And some of it is rubbish…mainly the modern stuff but looking back not all of it was great.  I wouldn’t dare compare Dr. Dre to Poe (my favourite rapper vs. my favourite poet, would be a great fight) but poetry has evolved, as has the subject content.

Okay, I’ll be the first to admit that the grammar and spelling of most rappers is worse than a University student in the UK, and I do not say that lightly … I recently viewed a module course kit that ended with a crash course on the correct use of apostrophe’s.  But Shakespeare used odd grammar and spelling for dramatic effect, and as a gimmick to enhance the entertainment value of the plays.  I would give an example, but I am too busy shouting “I got 99 problems but the bitch ain’t one.”  I am my year’s leading Grammar-Nazi, but when it’s art, that’s just being petty.

Another pet-peeve that people seem to have with Rap is the boasting.  I cannot stand it, and agreed with Bill Maher when he was interviewing Jay-Z on his talk show.  I see it as nothing more than a quick confession of just how insecure rappers actually are, but Jay-Z opened my eyes as to the reason, which is fair enough: he said that when you have nothing and then find yourself with everything you have ever wanted, you express your pride in your achievement in this way…and it acts as inspiration and hope for young hopefuls who want to follow in the rapper’s steps and have all those ‘bitches’.  It does get tiresome, but there is so much intelligent rap out there, just look past the commercial curtain and see the true stars behind the screen.

Speaking of ‘bitches’, the amount of misogyny and profanities within the genre is about as high as John and Paul writing “I am the Walrus”.  But as Chris Rock said in is ‘Never Scared’ DVD, all the bitches and hoes sing along to the rap because “he ain’t talking ‘bout me”, it is like deep fried chocolate, females cannot help but enjoy what they know they shouldn’t.  It seems the ghost of Mary Whitehouse has turned her narrow view to Rap, but there is an off switch to most electronic appliances which broadcast the music, and if you can’t figure out how to use it you deserve to be told that LL Cool J’s mother told him to “knock you out”.

Final gripe: the use of other people’s music in rap songs.  Apart from the talentless P. Diddy, who is the rap-world’s Karaoke champion (Jimmy Page, you will never be forgiven), most ‘sampling’ is done in a tasteful and respectful manner.  A key example, Xzibit’s ‘Paparazzi’ which samples Gabriel Faure’s ‘Pavane’ and on ‘Paparazzi’s’ Youtube page there were so many complaints about how he ruined the classical track by rapping over it, but from a different perspective, how many young people has this track exposed to Faure’s masterpiece?  Is it not doing something good in showing off the beauty of classical music to an audience who may never have been introduced to the classical genre?  And for all the more modern music being sampled I am glad as it keeps their royalties up and their self-loathing behinds off day-time television, where rockstars should never flagellate themselves.

It is not difficult to find the decent rap out there…just look, and listen.  Give it a chance.  Like every other genre of music, there is wheat and chaff, but you will never know the good if you never give any of it a chance.  Flobots, The Roots, Tupac … I could go on forever, but it’s up to you to discover the best for yourself … I love rap, and I will defend it, but I have to agree with magicbibledotcom’s sentiment on Youtube: “I hope Soulja Boy gets hit by a bus.”